First and foremost i would like to say WHAT UP YENGSTA...i miss ya dawg, hopefully everything is all good in norcal. What a wack NBA FINALS dont you agree. stupid kobe.

Hmm...ok so i finally got an epic piece for my druid on world of warcraft the cenarion vestment which is a chest piece so get off me...not that it matters and most of you will prolly be like what the fuq is this guy talkng about but when i read this many light years from now i want to remember that...GOSH! (-napoleon dynamite) what a loser.

So i keep looking in the mirror to see if my physical condition has changed whatsoever due to my...hmm, lets just call it vanity..but im having the hardest time believing that im gonna ever lose my love handles...but be ready southern cali for when i get back all of you will be the fat ones...MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! suckas...AND martha (my beautiful cousin) im gonna beat you on that 3 mile run around the rose bowl next february when you come for ate's birthday...damn i havent even told you that im starting to keep one of these online journal thingies so you might not read this but oh well...i'm still gonna beat you...for those of you that dont know my cousin martha is a very fit woman that whupped on me and my cousin john when we asked her to jog run arund the rosebowl with us...she beat us by far and started walking just so we would catch up...kinda sad.  Its all maryjanes fault...damn ho.

As for life its pretty much stll the same...steady steady (as they say here in pinas) but i sit up at night thinking about how i've dreamt and have lived in a dream for the past 7 years and its about time to wake up...but not yet i still have a month or so left.  but yeah i learned to day that Its not worth dreaming if you dont wake up...pretty cool huh i heard it on some anime i was watching while bored waiting for my cousin to get home from some intensities (ex-girlfriend stuff).  He's pretty faded but im sure when he wakes and gives it about a week things will clear up...i just hope he doesnt make a decision based on what he thinks his family/friends will think cause he'll just be setting himself up for regret.  I think we all have enough of those, the smart ones use regret for motivation, losers use regret as a reason....wow im getting all philosophical and shit...maybe i should start my own show called umm...shaddup omar you biatch i know ur clowning right now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW AND THE TWINS...if you ever read this, wish i was there.

As for right now...S.W.A.T. is showing on HBO while my cousin john sleeps the drunken sleep after drinking his confusion away and my other cousin tria is asleep...damn john took my bed so i have to sleep next to tin (which is her nickname) and to most of you that know me, know that i like to grab things around me when i sleep and spoon/hug them...pillows people etc....thats why i try to sleep alone all the time...its embarassing...yuck i'll throw up and wash myself crying game style if i woke up spooning my cousin. i think i got it from sleeping with my lolo all the time as a kid and i always hugged him cause he was my hero when i was a lil rugrat...funny story: i used to piss on him all the time cause i wasnt potty trained yet...makes me laugh cause i would always wake up to him yelling ARRRGH! (in the filipino way which i dont know how to express in words so just try to imagine it urselves).  and i'd be like "sorry, lolo" but in my mind id be like MUWAHAHAAHAH or BUWAHAHAHA, since i havent decided which is more evil....damn i miss my lolo tony.

Its rainy season right now...I love the rain, you always know its gonna be a beautiful day once it stops...the problem is it never stops out here since its rainy season so im just assed out...i feel bad for all the homeless kids/people out there though...they must suffer so much in this weather...imagine it rains so hard that you can wake up to the rain drops hitting the roof and i live in a house...the lucky at least have tin roofs the rest out here use trash bags as roofs for their self made houses...makes me appreciate what i have and at the same time regret that i now only realize what i have and that i should have taken advantage of it a long time ago....but its not too late, its NEVER too late, unless you die.  I cant wait to visit a village and help build not only houses but communities.  It wont be fun but it willl be fulfilling.

One more thing...i need a girl, i still havent met one out here for my summer romance but godwilling i'll have one waiting for me in the near future or far future or just in the future PLEASE...dont want to be alone all my life, kinda scary. then again so is the thought of truly being in love with someone, like how amidala died cause anakin went to the dark side, that kind of love.  but thats another discussion for another time. I do have some girls in mind out here and at teh same time i know some have me in mind..hehe, but i'll wait till i find the proper wingman to take advantage.

random though: I LOVE MY FAMILY. nuff said.

Quote of the day:  It's not worth dreaming if you dont wake up. -major (ghost in a shell)

Song of the day: "Grand Theft Autumn" -fallout boys

IF ANY OF YOU IDIOTS (i mean that in the nicest and most loving way possible)  GET THE CHANCE, BUY, DOWNLOAD, BURN, STEAL(if you must) a korean movie titled "SASSY GIRL," it is hands down one of the greatest movies about love, life, chance, patience, and change that i have ever watched.

seacrest out (i just wanted to say that cause im an idiot)

PEACE.

and beau should have won...carrie was wack.

Damn, i wish i knew how to post pictures on this thing without having to pay those premium fee's...actually i shoulda asked Lil to show me how a long time ago but mayb one of you reading this might know then you can holla at me and tell me how...hmmm, ok so i re-read what i previously wrote and it gets a bit corny at the end but what can i say, its a bit true...actually its a lot true...but thats neither here nor there.

Hmm, so whats the haps...for those of you that are slang disabled: haps= what has ben going on in this life of mine as i spend it away from home, yeah i was too lazy to type that out but i guess i did it anyways...what an idiot...it wasnt me.

Ok so at the moment im a bit upset with the NBA finals cause its gonna be boring since i have no love for either team but i guess i'll root for the west coast, notice i said "WEST COAST" cause i hate the spurs...who one of my cousins friends (Warren Chad Bufiord balignot Deguzman) say is one of the most charismatic teams in the nba to which i looked at him and laughed...one of those HEARTY laughs like "AHHH-HAHAAHAHAH" i shoulda gave the evil laugh "MUWAHAHAHA" or "BUWAHAHAHA" (im not sure which one i decided is more evil) but then it woulda been out of context since the laugh i was looking for was more of the "are you kidding me" laugh.

I wish i wrote in this more often but i just dont have the discipline yet....every night i lie in bed thinking about all the things i want to say and i'm like (damn this thing doesnt have that auto-caps like in word) i guess i'll do it manually....REWIND...and I'm like alright I'm gonna remember this for my xanga entry; I do this for maybe a week straight and as i sit here thinking about what i was supposed to write....I can't remember a damn thing.

All I have to say is this..which some of you really won't understand...WHAT THE FUQ is going on with my fantasy baseball team...nuff said.

Ok so back to the haps going on over here in philippines.  Other then fixing my physical condition...which im hoping will come to fruition by the time i get back...hehe...I was able to organize a wine and cheese party out here for my cousin jon and his boys..with dates of course...but truthfully, i was more thinking on the lines of the Wine and CHeese parties me and the SPOP homies would throw back in college; which was extreme fadedness and trouble..instead it turned into a romantic formal date event with which i didnt have a date...I'd like to say it was because i was busy organizing, decorating, etc etc. but truthfully its cause i dont know any ladies out here and my game is at an all time low, actually it isn't but we'll just keep it at that.  hopefully i can post some pictures cause i made that event P.I.M.P. -brush my shoulders off.  i'll try and post those pics sometime in the future.

As for the same ol same ol going on...im still playing world of warcraft, me and maryjane are kind of on a rocky relationship..on and off. which is good. OOH, i got some new glasses though...not to be cocky but...i look pretty good in em...and their real this time.  as for my situation with my hair deciding to pack up and leave on me...its still the same except their takeing their kids with em too...so im guessing in the next three years i'll be completely bald. I dont really care...I'm over it. and theres always hair transplantation..LoL.

LIFE: I've realized the one most important thing being over here...I care too damn much about what people thought of me back home...these days i've let go of that...it holds you back way too much, and makes you think way too much about the trivial things...why live life according to how others view you...i mean theres a thin line..if ur being an asshole then stop it but me i was just too worried about making too many ppl happy that i forgot how it was to make myself happy....HINT: dont make that mistake.  For now im not exactly the happiest person in the world but thats because i have a lot of plans that i should have followed through with in college but as i told omar ( my best homie) time will be my penance for having too much fun in college.  I start nursing school in september..but thats just to feed my brain...should be easy anyways, since medicine is my forte..then hopefully...actually theres no hoping...THEN med-school, which shouldnt be a problem, i'm gonna ace the MCATS and wave the score in my fathers face just to make him jealous...but thats in the future...i really shouldnt count the eggs before they hatch...but I AM SO DAMN determined to be what i was meant to become.  Well not meant, its actually been my passion that i set aside because i got scared and confused with what i wanted....mostly out of spite towards my dad, which was SOOO STUPID...cause he loves me he just didnt know how to express it so i misunderstood.

DAMN THAT WAAS A LONG PARAGRAPH.

as for future plans im having a huge problem because jeremiah, whom is one of the boys i hold very near and dear to my heart is getting married and i will not be able to make it due to certain duties that i have towards my family.  I've really been dbating just turning my back on the family but i did that all of college and i said i wouldnt do it again but it is JERMOBA and he has always been the homie since the beginning of college till the end of my life. I really hope he will understand but it still kills me inside...see i have a good 35% of my heart set aside for my boys (the other 65% is to family and god) and it hurts to know that i'm gonna be ltting him down in that sense..SHIT im gonna be missing his wedding. I really hope he understands. If only he picked up his phone. i refuse to email him, i owe him more then some impersonal email...if im gonna tell him i may miss his wedding, it has to be if not in person then on the phone where we can talk to each other not send some pussy email saying im sorry....thats wack and I owe him that much.  Ahh well i'll deal with that soon.

As for future plans i'll be seeing my other cousins CARL and PAT, im really excitied about that...cant wait to see those two IDGITS.

Hmm, damn i had some pretty deep shit to say before but i forgot, i should just write that shit down when i think about it...i'll learn.

SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO POST PICS>>PUHHH_LEEEEESE!!

auight im out..PEACE.

Qoute of the day: "Isnt it great when you meet some one and NOTHING means EVERYTHING" -richard ladines (suckas thats mine)

Current song: "Hands Down" -dashboard confessional

"...and we stood at ur door with ur hands on my waist and you kissed me like you meant it...like you meant it"- ---damn great song.]

RofLADS...out.

alright so i guess im gonna give this thing a try since all of a sudden i find it interesting...lol.  im 16,000 miles away from home, a bit lost, a bit confused, not knowing who i was, who i am, and what the hell im doing so far away BUT i do know who i want to be so thats a start. Most importantly though i am wondering what my crew has been up to back home and this site allows for that, granted you are diligent enough to write in it at least once a week which sadly...i am not, but like i said i'll give it a try. 

Hopefully this will also help me to organize my thoughts...since as you can tell i like to go off into different tangents.  Whatever happened to my writing skills you know the hamburger technique ur taught in school, the top bun is the intro, then you get the meat which is the body; thats a lot of meat, like a triple burger with extra cheese, fatass, and the bottom bun is the conclusion. damn im hungry now.

ok so now im gonna give myself time to collect my thoughts cause ive been away from home for about 2 months now and alot has happened all of which i need to be able to express in words...damn thats a lot of emotions, worries, happenings and mishappenenings if there is such a word....if there isnt well i just made one so how you like dem apples webster.

One thing i do know is that i miss home, something i thought i never would truly miss. I miss getting home in pasadena at 2-3am from irvine after chillin with my boys, going into my moms room and giving her a kiss so she knows i got home safely (if not, she doesnt sleep well...kinda wierd cause she's already asleep anyways), going to bed on my soft comfy bed with my down mattress cover which molds to my body (AHHH, like drinking arizona green tea on a hot day), then waking up at 8am to the sound of the garage door opening and my dads car engine running as he gets ready to go to work, along with my mom peeping in the room to check if i came home (cause she always forgets that i gave her a kiss when i got back...lol). i miss the quiet coolness of my room (cause its damn hot out here in pinas and i dont have a room thats mine) and the steady ease you get knowing that ur home. I miss those times to myself when i wonder what i'll be doing later that night knowing damn well i'll be heading off to irvine again. i miss it when 5pm comes around knowing that the sierra boys have just got off work and i can call em up and see what they're up to...whether its talking shit to the ZOOOnigga (thats omar my closest boy in college cause we are so damn good at what we do....at least thats what we believe)on his drive home, or convincing alvin and bryant to come over after work to chill and do what we do. i miss getting that call around 8pm from erren, spooner, or dip to come out to irvine to kick it and me saying "naw its cool, i think i'll stay home tonight," then around 11pm i get dressed and decide to go (although my idea of getting dressed is a sweater, bball shorts, and some rainbow sandals). I miss the comforting feeling of being with ur boys that truly understand you and dont really give a damn what you do, toking, laughing, chappelle show, life talks, nonsense, watching spooner and ethan fight then make up, ping pong with sugi, shit talking with ethan, shit talking with erren, shit talking with the twins, ok ok shit talking in a language i speak well in (cause they like to clown around out here but its in tagalog, my forte is in english...for now...MUWAHAHA). i also miss showing up at herrera's house around 1am to watch some naruto, hit up some vape, conversate about wow, then leaving at around 2am to head back home. and no matter how much i hate driving i'll always miss the drive home back from irvine, thinking about how much my friends mean to me, life (dont we all), and why its called a glove compartment; listening to "let me love you" by mario on every station on the radio (which i dont really miss i just wanted to state the fact that that song is overplayed). I miss getting off the 210 knowing im 5 minutes from home, pulling into the driveway, then raiding the fridge for a drink and hoping i didnt drink anything that was joi's (my cousin thats living with us) then back to bed to start it all over. I miss all that knowing it wont be like this forever. but most of all i miss princess toadstool (i knew i would but not this much) and even 16,000 miles away your still the last thing on my mind before i sleep and the first when i wake. and if you ever read this, the answer to your question during our drive to melrose is: yes, i would come back for you.  

see ya next time folks.

quote of the day: "if your not willing to look stupid then your not ready to be in love." -amanda peet